Story - Two Wolves

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside

He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

We choose our own attitudes and outlook on life.

Story - Apache Seasons

Apache Seasons

There was once a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said “the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.”

The second son said “no, it was covered with green buds and full of promise.”

The third son disagreed; he said “it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing I have ever seen.”

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said “it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfilment.”

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. “If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, the fulfilment of your fall.”

Do not judge others by just one event or "season" in their lives.

Article - “A society is defined not only by what it creates but by what it refuses to destroy.”

“A society is defined not only by what it creates but by what it refuses to destroy.” - John Sawhill

The place I come from is a very secluded village, quiet and hidden away safely from the mechanic clutches of the city; or maybe it was, once.  My childhood was spent lavishing on the boundless and sincere love of the village life, its soul and nature pure and pristine, innocent like new born. This reflected greatly in our relations where minds and life were not “divided by narrow domestic walls”. Everyone enjoyed a free and close relation with each other, and the bonds made there were always strong, lasting for a lifetime.

I must have been eight or may be ten when I went with my father on a journey to the celebrated ‘Guruvayur Temple’. We happened to come across a vehicle inspection procedure enroute and though we could have passed without stopping for it my father pulled to the side spotting someone. I craned my neck to see who it was and recognized David Uncle, a close friend of our family.

“Its David Uncle” I jumped up elated.

He was a Motor Vehicle Inspector and was busy verifying some paper works. I comprehended that he hadn’t yet seen us and so, though my father left me back in the car, I ran after him to meet David Uncle. There was a small gathering of people waiting to clear their paper works and my father approached him from behind.

“We’ll give him a surprise”, I thought and calculated how I’d give him a start showing an abundance of joy at meeting him and looked at my father who was about to speak.

He signaled me to calm down and in a very calm and composed manner began,

“Sir?”

 “What!” was my first mental response and I stood there confused as David Uncle turned. His face lit up but he did not lose deportment,

“Yes, where are you heading to?” he asked in very formal tone.

“Off to visit the Guruvayur temple Sir”, my father maintained his modesty.

“Why are they acting so weirdly”, I stood there unable to comprehend the situation. I thought at first that my father was teasing David Uncle for his strict and bossy behavior. But then I realized that their exchange was quite genuine. David Uncle excused himself from others for a while and came away with us to the side. The two were normal again talking like usual inquiring each other’s well-being and all. My father took extra care not to detain him from work for long and we were back in the car. When we were leaving, my father slowed down the car in front of him and took a formal leave resuming his respect and addressing him as “Sir” once again!

“Why are you calling him “Sir?””, I finally voiced myself unable to bear all this contrasting behavior.

 “Because, he is a respected person”, he replied calmly.

“But why? You never behave to him that way, why such modesty now?” I felt that I was losing patience.

“ Son”, he was calm, “ He has a position among the people who were around him. He is an officer and has his own dignity to preserve. Being his close ones it falls upon us as our duty to preserve it for him”, he paused. “If we were to behave freely with him then he would have lost his power in front of those people.”

The realization dawned upon me and I realized the immense duty of maintaining relationships. My father and Uncle David shared that special bond of the heart enjoyed by true villagers- the free and unreserved relation that was fully informal. It is that true relation which formed the basis of this great responsibility. My father just couldn't destroy the power and respect commanded by his friend.  The power of dignity and respect is something to be well-maintained and when the person enjoying these has strived hard to get them, it gravely rests on us that we should be careful to preserve them. Our honor comes from preserving other’s dignity.

 It would be very easy if we put ourselves in their shoes. How would we feel when we are commanding a group of people, mortifying them and establishing our power, when out of nowhere a friend comes and pats on our back shuffling out in a very informal language? The feeling is the same. It is our duty to respect the position of our near ones careful not to embarrass them.

Article - ‘Clothes Make The Man’

‘Clothes Make The Man’

On 18^th of this month (September 2014) I was to engage a Belbin Team Role Workshop for Emircom at Abu Dhabi and had to reach there by 9’O Clock (UAEST) in the morning. I usually pack up my executive suit in which I have to appear for my sessions and smarten up just before the sessions to look my best. But this time it almost seemed impossible given that I’d reach there only a few minutes before the session. Any delay on the way can gravely rob me off my time and patience. So I decided to deck up in my formal outlook rather than opt for casuals for the journey. My only relief was that I’d be in AC throughout the journey and took extra care that my outfit remained crease-free. My apparel was a perfectly coordinated array of expensive suit and tie topped off with a highly expensive Swarovski pen, which was gifted by my friend Mr. Shaji George from Ahmedabad, India, shining in my pocket; a very palatable appearance on the whole.

When I arrived the Airport at 3.00 am (IST) for my 04.20 am flight the crowd at the airport was far enough to deflate me. The Hajj season was on and there were almost six flights ready to take off that morning. The airport was a sea of travelers and visitors and the length of the queue was a thunderbolt on me. Lacking options I moved up to the end of the line dragging my two trolley bags after me incessantly praying for a miracle. I did a mental calculation of the time I’d lose on this everlasting line and peeped through the side to inspect the progress.

Did I pray for a miracle? Because here it was! I saw the security guard, a Sardarji, signaling me to advance to the counter and I got entry bypassing that outstretched queue. “May be they were all in a single group and might take a long time”, I justified to myself.

Inspecting my surroundings I realized that there were only a few people clad up for business and the majority was off to Hajj. This came to my advantage again when I got through two other sets of such enormous lines. It wasn’t long before an officer from Air India approached me with high respect and inquired which flight I was going to travel in. When I replied I was to take the Etihad, he signaled a lady who helped me evade all other possible hurdles that would have swallowed my valuable time. “This isn’t about the Hajis flooding the airport, this is my guise!” I realized with a shock. My outfit and deportment had done the trick, I was a well-preferred customer. What swept me away was the humble behavior of a security guard who has once had a clash with me. He was desperate to offer his help.

The magic cast by my attire was not yet over. After all the security checks were smoothly and pleasingly dealt with, the personnel from the Etihad approached me inquiring if I’d like to upgrade from the economy class to the executive class. I’ve always preferred the economy class to the executive for shorter journeys and so I declined the proposal.  The lady who had help me escape the grueling crowd now came to me with the most pleasing news,

“Sir, we are taking the privilege of upgrading you to the executive class, a superior version. We are happy to do this for you free of cost”.

“Not bad”, I thought and readily accepted the offer. And to think, all this was because of my impeccable grooming! This impeccable style of grooming, we term as “Power-Dressing” and my experience serve as a perfect example to define the term. Quoting from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “the apparel oft proclaims the man”.

 I intend to extend this post to elaborate on the science of “Power-Dressing”.

A WELL GROOMED MAN

One should dress to convey a feeling of strength and dignity. It is a business tool and skill, which sets the emotional and physical climate for success. The way we dress affects the way people perceive and treat us. Dressing has long been a symbol of the role of status that an individual enjoys in a particular society, obtaining for them the rewards of recognition, approval and identification. By understanding impression management through appearance you can begin to plan your appearance and package yourself to generate an automatic positive response from those you meet in business and social situations.

Hair

·         Clean, neatly cut, not extending below the ears

·         Always well combed

·         Frequently shampooed

·         Kept in place and not oily

Face

·         Clean shaven

·         Moustaches well-trimmed- above the lip level and not drooping

·         Teeth: clean and white. Free from foul odour

Hands

·         To be washed regularly

·         Must wash with soap after every meal

·         No marks or stains

·         Nails: short, even length and clean

• Wrist watch should be a formal one and with appropriate size

Personal Hygiene

·         Bath daily and use a deodorant under arms

·         Brush twice and use a mouth freshener to keep your breath fresh

·         Avoid use of cheap perfumes and colognes.

·         Use a light perfume during the day

·         Wash face frequently to look fresh

·         Adequate rest at night adds to your good looks

Basics of Dressing

·         Dress should be clean and not crumpled

·         Your clothes should suit your body

·         Dress should be appropriate to the time, place, occasion and age

·         Fabrics, fit, quality, style and the like should be carefully considered

·         Latest fashion trends should always be kept in mind

Details

·         Well-coordinated, conservative colors

·         White/blue shirts with navy blue, grey or black trousers

·         Cream/beige/light brown shirts with dark colored trousers

·         Light colored shirts with dark colored trousers.

·         Well ironed and proper fitting should be ensured

·         No loose ends, threads open seams or missing buttons at the cuffs and on the shirts; the stitching below trouser pockets need special attention

·         Well colour coordinated and well knotted ties

·         Shirt pockets should remain empty

Shoes

·         Colour coordinated with the clothes

·         Conservative styles-Oxfords/brogues

·         Clean polished

·         Well repaired heels

·         Laces tied neatly and Socks clean and colour coordinated

A WELL GROOMED WOMAN

 

Hair

·         Long Hair

o   Should be left open only if it is shoulder length. It should not come on the face while at work

·         Avoid the following

o   Elaborate coiffures, knots or coils

o   Low loose knots tied at the nape of the neck

o   Oily hair

·         Short Hair

o   Should be cut in an elegant contemporary style which is manageable and looks neat throughout duty hours

Personal Grooming

·         Arms and under arms should be kept hair free

·         Always s use a deodorant

·         Perfumes should be of light and pleasing odour. Light eau-de-colognes are appropriate at work

Face

·         Eyebrows should be neat and well-shaped

·         Skin should be well cared for

·         Facial hair should be bleached or removed regularly

·         Use small and pleasing studs instead of ear rings

Make-up (Light and carefully applied)

·         Day makeup

o   Light subtle and carefully applied using shades like pink, peach and russet

·         Eye makeup

o   A light application of mascara, a light shade of eye shadow or alternatively a kohl application

o   Dark shades of eye shadows should be avoided

o   Dark circles should be covered with under-eye makeup

Blush on

·         Blush-on on the cheekbones along the neck is a must as it enhances your best features

·         Medium shades of pink and rust should be used during the day. Darker shades of blush-on e.g. red should be saved for the night. A soft orange looks beautiful on Indian colouring

·         If you are using a Bindi, it should be a small and simple (no designs and not oversized)

Hands

·         To be washed regularly and manicured

·         Must wash with soap after every meal

·         No marks or stains, henna designs are out

·         Arms should be hair free, with regular routine to ensure this

Nails

·         Should be well shaped with a light to medium color application of nail polish

·         Extremely long nails with enameled with very bright or dark shades of nail polish should be avoided

·         Nail polish should never be chipped. A good rule is to remove nail polish every three days. Of course nail polish need not be used at all, but nails must be well filed and clean at all times

Feet

·         Heals should appear clean and not cracked

·         Toenails should be well shaped and if you like, polished

Shoes/footwear

·         Low/high heeled shoes or sandals

·         Heals should not be more than 1.5 inches

·         Shoes and sandals should be in good condition. Foot wear in poor condition spoils entire image

Jewellery

·         Light authentic jewellery like a thin gold chain, a light gold bangle, small earrings (gold/pearl/diamond)

·         Artificial or costume jewellery in oxidized silver or plastic should be strictly avoided

·         Bangles should not jangle

·         Wrist watch should be a formal one and with appropriate size

Clothes (for Indian environment)

·         Saris must be well ironed. For cotton saris add a little starch.

·         The falls must be well stitched. Fabrics like kota-doria and organdy stay crisp all the day and need almost no starch

·         Avoid pompous and extravagant fashion dress.

·         Salwar Kameez should be of good fabric and well stitched

·         Western trousers suits or skirt/jacket of coordinated colors

There are many ways to groom and stylize yourself. I hope some of these guidelines will help you in some ways.